My Testimony

When I was 4 yrs-old, I remember lying on the couch with a painful ear infection. My father laid his hands on my head and gave me a priesthood blessing. I had perfect faith that he would heal me. Soon after, the pain left.

I remember sitting in the church with my father, waiting for my turn to be baptized. There were many children there that day, and the wait was long. I do not remember being baptized, but as I walked out to the car afterwards, I felt light and clean, I knew my sins were washed away.

As an awkward 7^th grader in a new, tough school, I had a stressful year. I encountered profanity and vulgarity for the first time, and I was bullied. I suffered with depression. I lived that year in almost constant prayer. I had perfect faith that my Heavenly Father loved me and would help me. And He did.

As a young college student, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, rebellion, and with personal weakness. Humbled, I finally told the Lord, “I cannot overcome this on my own; I have tried. I need thy help. Please help me!” I had perfect faith that he could heal me. I new feeling came over me, and I knew I could change. And I did. It was a true miracle.

I attended the Institute of Religion and took a class on the Book of Mormon. I had a wonderful instructor who motivated me with his interesting and inspiring lessons. I had never read the Book of Mormon all the way through before. As I read, I seemed to hear the voices of Nephi, Jacob, Mosiah, Moroni and others. I especially loved Jacob. I could hear that they were different people, with different personalities, all testifying of Jesus Christ. I KNEW the Book of Mormon was true!

I looked forward to the day I could enter the temple. One day, my sweetheart and I entered and we were sealed together forever. My beloved Grandfather performed the sealing. I knew that my grandfather held the keys to our eternal marriage. I knew that Greg and I could be together eternally. What a great blessing!

As a young mother, I loved my little son desperately, but was harried and stressed by his normal childhood behavior. One day, I yelled at him, and hurt his feelings - again. I wept with despair at my poor parenting and felt that surely, the Lord was very angry with me. I asked forgiveness of my darling child, and he assured me of his forgiveness and love. But I still felt terrible. I prayed with flowing tears to be a better mother. An impression came to me reminding me of how much I loved that sweet child, and then, Heavenly Father let me know I was His child, and that he loved me, just as I loved my child. A wonderful, warm feeling of love came over me; I will never forget it. I prayed that if my Heavenly Father had a message for me, that he would tell me in the scriptures. I opened the scriptures and they fell open to a page where a parent gave a blessing to a beloved child. I wept with joy to know that he forgave me. I had perfect faith my Heavenly Father loved me.

For several years, I tended children in my home to supplement our income while Greg was in school. I would often hear a voice in my mind, my own voice saying, “If only I had not left the iron there, this would not have happened.” It played over and over in my mind. I was sure that an accident could happen with the hot iron that could injure one of the children. For years, I NEVER left the hot iron. If the phone rang, or I was interrupted while ironing, I picked up the iron and took it to a secure spot. Eventually, the voice went away. I am convinced that the Holy Ghost was warning me, and that because I heeded the warning, I averted a terrible accident. I realized that we have a wonderful guide that can be with us to help us at all times, if we will listen. I knew the Holy Ghost spoke to me.

Years later, my youngest child was 5 yrs-old. He was a sweet, loving, obedient child. But one day, I grew impatient with him and lost my temper. I had tired so hard so that this last child would never be the object of my temper. But once again, my temper took over, and I behaved badly, and frightened him. For years and years I had prayed over and over and over again to be rid of my horrible temper. I decided I needed more help. Perhaps this was “the kind that cometh not out but with prayer and fasting.” I decided to fast. I didn’t tell anyone I was fasting, I prayed and I explained to the Lord that I had tried on my own to overcome this terrible weakness. I could not do it myself. I needed his help. I had faith that he could help me. And he did. It was a true miracle. I felt calmer. I did not get angry as easily. I learned to recognize when I was getting angry, and just let go. I’ll have to admit that I still struggle with a temper now and then, but since that day, it has been much, much less intense, and much, much less often.

As trials came to many family members, I felt terrible pain at their pain. I felt helpless to help those I loved. I could not sleep well, and I could not think. Greg and I went to the temple, and I prayed to find answers. I listened very carefully and I was given an answer that immediately brought peace to my heart. I understood the reason why my loved ones were suffering, and I UNDERSTOOD why that suffering was necessary, and how it would eventually, add to their joy! I knew it was a true message from the Holy Ghost because where before I was wracked with pain that I could not escape from, after the witness of the Hold Ghost, I was calm, and comforted, and the feeling stayed with me. I know the Hold Ghost speaks to me.

One late night, I was worried about the safety of a child. I heard a voice, say simply, “It will be okay.” It was not just an impression; it was an actual voice in my mind. I had not been able to sleep, but I was immediately comforted and had no more fear. As the days and weeks went by, I continued to feel calm, and received the assurance that the message was not just for that one night when a child traveled on a dark night, but was a more general message that all would turn out alright for this child.

When the Conference Center was completed, we made plans to go to General Conference. It was a beautiful building and we enjoyed seeing the waterfall, paintings, sculptures etc. in the foyer. After walking through a short hall, we entered the huge conference center. Just then the Tabernacle Choir begin to sing, “The Spirit of God, like a Fire is Burning.” Tears sprang to my eyes and I was overcome with joy – I knew the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was true. We took out seats. When Pres. Hinckley entered, that huge room of thousands of people became instantly quiet to honor the prophet of God. I know he was a prophet, and I have a testimony that Pres. Monsen is a prophet.

I have been grateful for the uplifting influence of the Gospel in my life. I am grateful for the wonderful people have been my friends and my acquaintances. I am grateful for the perfect plan of the gospel, the Plan of Happiness, if we will just accept it.

My life has basically been happy. I have an absolutely wonderful husband, and every one of my children is a blessing to me. But I have also had many trials and sorrows. I have felt inadequate, and I have made many mistakes. The gospel helps me learn from my mistakes and trials. The Holy Ghost has comforted when I was sad, I have felt peace when I was in grief. I have felt the power of the priesthood. I have received answers to my prayers. I am so eternally grateful the Savior and his atoning sacrifice for me. I feel his love, and I love him.

I testify that I know! In the name of Jesus Christ,

Amen!